Welcome to the long-promised blog about being thrust into the world of dementia, learning how to be a caregiver while raising your family and keeping life afloat. I don’t profess to be an expert but I have learned so much along the way. The mostly bad, sometimes good, and the road to putting it all back together.

The story could start in 1998 when I married an exceptional man. We wanted to build a family and live out the dream of kids, house, travel and planning retirement. It was going well with all the common struggles of balance, responsibility, fiscal frustration and general grievances.

Or it could start in 2018 when things started going horribly wrong. So so wrong.

The beginning could actually be here, right where we are so it’s fresh. Let’s do that. I have the brutal combination of brain fog, derived from stress and perimenopause.

Which brings me to me. If we haven’t met, I’m Tania. I’ll be 51 in January. Aquarius if that’s something that is important to know. Grew up in a small town outside of Toronto, Ontario. My deep love is for architecture, history, art, music, travel and literature. I live in my 100 year old house which I adore but would love more on the ocean. Mom to my two boys that I will praise very regularly because they live this wildness too and do so better than I. My shadow’s name is Mabel, a brindle Olde English Bulldog that is my fierce protector and biggest fan. My irreplaceable parents live about an hour away, we’ll just call them Poppy and Gee.

Currently, my husband Kevin lives in a long term care home. It was a while coming, a necessary move and we’re still adjusting. He moved in May of this year and that’s a whole other post. I miss him with everything I have but don’t miss the disease that just about took me out.

I have been sharing his disease and everything that has come with it since the being on social media with friends, new and old, and family. I don’t tend to sugarcoat much, reality is harsh. I will, however, always prioritize my husband’s dignity, my family’s comfort and my own wellbeing.

So thank you for being here. It’s going to be an outlet for me but also a direction. Enduring this life, this disease, this heartbreak cannot be for nothing. Purpose? Maybe. It just took all the appreciated gentle pushes from those following along.

And , hopefully, this too will start off well.